Bullet and the art of self-discovery!

My arms were stretched wide across my shoulders in the balcony of Alok's apartment in Vizag. Right in front was the blue waters of the Bay of Bengal. The fresh air and serene waters of the sea made me feel as if my life was worth living for this moment. Alok was still fast asleep and I wanted to get my feet wet with the blue waters. Should I go alone or wait for him? I did none. My SLR was idle for a day so I took it out and trigger happy. Few shots later the zombie of my eternal question returned to haunt me. Why was I doing this and what is my purpose? Three days of continuous riding, a incident where I lost hope that I would successfully complete my trip, withstanding rain and wind, unknown people and roads, why all this, why? Didn't I have a goal in life which forced me to wander aimlessly until I found one? Or was it the prospect of receiving accolades for completing a long ride? Or was it just to utilize the long leave I had earned at work? 

Hmm it was none of these. Riding on my Royal Enfield Bullet was a passion indeed but that was not the only reason to go on rides. The dictionary says self-discovery means "The act or process of achieving understanding or knowledge of oneself". That these rides were part of the process of that discovery was an understanding I never had. It dawned on me late but when it did, I felt at peace.

One can argue that one need not go out on long rides to find oneself. One can still gain that self-knowledge at the comforts of one's own home. The experiences for me were not only educating but also put me on a path to question myself "who am I", "what am I supposed to do here", "where did I come from", "where am I going"?

It was the time of the year were pangs of discontent with respect to work and life in general hits me. When it happens it lasts for a few days. No doubt that I did not like my job but I also used that as an alibi not to work as dexterously as demanded by my profile. With no solution in sight, I was left to crib on my fate. And how did I crib? Out of the city, on unknown roads and cities, meeting strangers, eating food that I don't recognize and staying at inns which were regarded as degrading for a city-goer.

But this gave me a wild sense of satisfaction, that a renegade would get when he runs away after deserting his cause. Was that my lack of understanding of life? or of myself and life in general. 

Now reminiscing on that, I think it was indeed my ignorance about myself that I was in such a state.

Three days of ride and a days rest at Vizag was not sufficient to quench my thrist for more air and country side. I rode further on from Vizag. I was at a crossroad after a few hours of the days ride. One went towards the state of Chattisgarh and the one I was on, lead to Orissa. Orissa seemed to be more enchanting and so I rode on the NH and reached the capital of Orissa, Bhubaneshwar, by sun down.

Bhubaneshwar is a well planned city. Numerous temples with tall spires dot the city's landscape. My priorities were garbled as I did not know whether to go for the visits to the temples or head to Puri and the famous Sun temple at Konark. Early next day I decided to ride to Puri and Konark.

The temples at Puri and Konark are amazing in terms of its architecture and sculptures. These places provide such great opportunities for photography that I wished that I was a photographer. Probably I could have traveled all over without having to please the bosses for a long leave. 

On the way back from Orissa I visited the Chilika lake. I could not hire a boat as it was too early in the morning and there were no tourists around. I was loitering around the place and was about to return when a young kid offered to take me on a boat ride. His father joined him. Their hospitality in spite of living in penury made me think that my dilemma was not on strong grounds. They live on 3-4 rotis a day and earn only as much to sustain their hunger. 

No huge bank balances and no comforts. Yet they were courteous enough to show me around the lake and explain the process of fishing. 

All through this, I had only one thing in my mind. How is it that they live such a contented life, even though they are devoid any luxuries that we enjoy and are yet so unsatisfied? The question was bugging me all through the ride back home. My aimless rides took me to interiors of Andhra Pradesh for about 2 days. Finally I took a call to return to Bangalore as I had already over shot my approved leave dates. Bread and butter was not the only reason that we work for. But also trying to find happiness outside of us, in the homes we make, the property we buy, the bank balance we have, investments, cars, bikes, lifestyles that a monthly hefty salary begets. All this is indeed a futile exercise given the fact that we take none of it when we leave this world. If there was one thing that this ride taught me was exactly this.

But still the question remained. What am I supposed to do here? The search for the answer continues........................................

Factfile:

My ride took me to three states over 12 days.

Places : Tirupathi, Vizag, Bhubaneshwar, Puri, Konark, Pipli, Chilika, Sri Saialam, Mantralaya

Route : Bangalore -> Tirupathi -> Guntur -> Vizag -> Bhubaneshwar -> Puri -> Konark -> Bhubaneshwar -> Vizag -> Guntur -> Sri Sailam -> Kurnool -> Mantralaya -> Bangalore

Total distance covered : 3504 Kms